Understanding 

“Deep authentic, understanding creates true healing” 
-Anthony William😇 

One of the most potent pieces to my healing is understanding of the body, healing, faith, and the actions of other people. I am an all loving, completely trusting, imaginative, authentic person and it is not ok with many people. Other than a very small handful of individuals, all my life I have been misunderstood, judged, and treated in such a way that I have quietly suffered deep emotional and spiritual pain. 

On top of a lifetime of being misunderstood and judged, I have lived my whole life with tremendous digestive issues, nerve inflammation, hosting of heavy viral loads, bacterial loads, and heavy metal toxicity, so I also understand living with illness and pain.

 To have studied the body like I have for the last decade and to have received divine messages from my own spirit and Medical Medium I have an unbelievable understanding of my illness and imbalance in my body, giving me emotional relief when it comes to my physical pain. It’s almost as if the physical pain of the illness I host is easier for me to deal with than the emotional pain. 

To acknowledge the spiritual/emotional pain I am lovingly working through, I only send love to those who project to me negative behaviors, abusive language, outward disapproval, and dismissing my authenticity as weird, stupid, or crazy. 

I work so hard to understand why…as I search for such an understanding I only send love because only with love I can move forward. If I do not send love and work on understanding I become engulfed by the anger, sadness, loneliness, embarrassment, and pain. 

I admit I have been the one to harshly treat others for their trueness and now know it was my own unwillingness to look at my behaviors, my fears, my self worthiness and what I needed to work on to grow personally. After years of personal work, I have more of an understanding of such behaviors projected onto me actually as having nothing to do with me. If I did not work on understanding this I would still be standing inside the shadows of self doubt I have worked so hard to walk away from.

 Further I surrender to love and understanding. 💛

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