Checking In

Hello and happy Halloween weekend!🎃Just checking in. My social media feeds have been quiet this past week as I have been busy busy with research, appointments, business building, and networking. Sending out so much love and I look forward to getting back into my flow of passionately presenting positivity to my community. Peace and love. ✌️💗 IMG_0940.JPG

Are We Giving Sound Nurturing or Enabling Them To Become Crippled?

In the world of parenting there is no handbook, no instructions manual, no blue prints, no black and white hard copies of how to parent. Indeed, that’s a given. As parents, we want to give our children gifts of love and safety. We nurture with our unconditional selves to these tender beings we love so deeply. As they grow, our guidance and security are much needed in their cultivating awarenesses for future successes. They grow older and we let go of some responsibilities of raising young children and adopt other responsibilities to accommodate for budding young adults. As our children grow into adulthood (let’s consider adulthood being the age of 21), where do our responsibilities end? How do they end? Do they end?

All around I see whole families with adult children living with their parents and/or financially depending on their parents. I know people in their 50’s who still depend on their parents for full financial support. Some of these adult children don’t even have jobs or skills or are in pursuit of schooling wether vocational or academic. A number of those adult children I know even when educated have no life skills, everything has always been done for them. These children dictate the household and seem to be completely, outright praised for it. Waited on, given financial and material freedoms and having no regard for cost or value of exuberant gifts given. Maybe, the parents think the feeding of unearned privilege will give their children the preparation it takes to be independent and successful, I guess. I can’t figure that one out, it really confuses me. I do not want to come across as seeming sarcastic but really I try to understand the logic behind this type of parenting.

In my experience as a mother I adore giving to my daughter, it feels satisfying to provide her comforts a parent may give their child. I do admit, I have in the past and still currently indulge my budding adult daughter with a smartphone, a car, auto insurance and healthy foods. As I become introspective about my giving to her in this fashion, I question my giving of these essentials as teetering on too much. Too much giving of financial privilege is the common thread I find in my over giving parenting style. The difference about my parenting which stands out from parenting practices I see around me is I wait and observe the behaviors of my child and let her make her mistakes if I foresee them coming. Also, as she became a young teen, instinct drove me to make her take charge of a number of unusual tasks and responsibilities for such a young person. She became the sole administrator to all school enrollment registration paperwork, writing the checks made payable to her high school for yearbooks, student services fees, and her student-athlete fees, making her own doctors appointments, approaching her coaches and teachers with inquiries of lack of playing time on the court or poor marks in the classroom, finding her own driver’s education training programs, getting new tires put on her car, paying for all of her own gas, and now paying the rent for her own apartment.

I am not saying that I am the greatest parent in history, nor, that this parenting style is going to work for all families but it worked for mine. I am just a whole hearted believer in keeping ones children accountable for their own actions, behaviors, and age appropriate financial responsibilities. To over indulge children with lack of responsibilities and lack of consequences can be detrimental to the future successes of the entire family. Honestly, I love my daughter beyond words and I want to see her have the greatest success she can dream for herself. My love for her has influenced me to guide her to become self sufficient, efficient, and confident in adulthood. Major bonus for raising my child with giving her many adult responsibilities as she was a teen…she is a self sufficient, efficient, independent, confident 19 year old woman who has taken her reins and is now galloping into an incredibly successful responsible adulthood.

Let Them Find Their Own Consequences

Finding something you really don’t want to see when you are digging deep to find it, will hurt you. Giving unsolicited advice in a forceful manner will burn you. They’re not good risks and not worth it. Seeking pain, diligently seeking what you don’t want to find, finding it then ridiculing the beholder of it. I don’t want to find poop on the bottom of my shoes so I steer clear of piles of poop. If I choose to walk through a field of someone else’s poop there is a chance I will step in it and I really don’t want to get someone else’s poop on my shoes. I certainly do not reprimand someone else for the color, shape, size, or smell of their poop, I don’t have time for that, I have my own poop to work through. The same with someone else’s personal business, I do not go traipsing through peoples personal junk and I certainly don’t tell people what they should be doing to learn lessons, its none of my business even it is my own child.
I adopted the practice of staying out of others personal business and refraining from giving unsolicited advice, and wow, what rich relationships I have cultivated. Abiding by this practice was difficult when my daughter was a young teen just budding into her own individualism and testing boundaries. Instead of telling her what I believed she ‘needed’ to do to be successful, I let her find her own consequences. She would not learn by hearing her mothers stories of struggle and adversity, she needed to live through her own struggles to truly learn lessons. As a typical teen would do she tested the waters of curiosity but almost drown. It was a scary time in my parenting because I saw behaviors in my child I had never seen before.
During these struggles of will I never found myself go through her personal belongings, I always respected the boundaries of her space and she knew that. I did believe, had I invaded upon her space I would have found evidence to further make me more disgruntled. The lack of my going behind her back kept our relationship honest, it kept her feeling safe, that I respected her personal space. It gave her freedom to know she was not being invaded upon.
However, I did tell her if she gave me reasons to look for evidence of drug, alcohol, food, sex, or any physical self destructive abuse/disorder then I would certainly intervene and snoop. I did find that her behaviors were normal, nothing out of the ordinary for a teen who had lived with common adversities. Come to find out she was far ahead of the curve, beyond where she should have been. If she was processing in a non typical fashion, it was on the upside of the curve. She was moving beyond her adversities and blocks at an accelerated pace. She was digging herself out of her typical teen, self induced collapse and learning her own lessons.
Now, she is an independent woman who finds comfort in expressing with her mother her hopes and dreams, ups and downs, goals and visions. The topics that are presented in our conversations are those of a great depth and vulnerability. The greatest strengths of my relationship with my daughter are the patience, the gentle honesty and the transparency we share with one another. I never want her to feel judged or pressured by her mother and she works at giving me the respect of honoring my individualism. We see one another’s quirks and negative patterns in behaviors but know those characteristics are what make us human. To err is to be human. To truly learn and feel complete about our learning process we need to work through our own adversities without constant reminders from others about our mistakes.

The power of positive thinking, the power of intention, trust and surrender, having faith, believing, or whatever title one can put on it

As soon as I was introduced to the idea of manifestation of abundance through the power of positive intention I integrated positive language and affirmations into my life. The happy language I focused on for a number of years became absolute habit, simultaneously, beauty and abundance began to surround me. Opportunities became more available and people received me with greater focus.
Positive language has been one of my most powerful tools in creating abundance. The positive word choices I combine together are incredibly effective in my business practices. A trust is quickly created between myself and even the most discerning of clients. The more I believe in myself, along with a consistency of positive affirmations, the more abundance comes to me with grace and ease. The focus is not making money but rather the visualization of abundance in my life. The more abundance I see myself living in, the more prosperous my financial life becomes. Trust, give whole hearted gratitude, and know all of my needs are met, then the miracles fall from everywhere.
Keeping a bright outlook can be challenging and can take years to master but with daily work the effortless flow of happy language and thoughts just happen. Keeping language true and sincere absolutely effects the way the universe flows with or against the user. Giving daily gratitude for even the smallest of lifes gifts can be potent manifestation tools. In times of great turmoil, focusing on any goodness in life can help catapult one to better positive focus and receiving.
Some of our biggest roadblocks to keeping the divine positive flow are individuals who seek the negative. Keeping happy language flowing gives an advantage while interacting with nay sayers. Trusting in goodness and persevering with integrity will win over the greatest of skeptics. No one can argue with impeccable words of gentle loving truth. Believe in your word, believe in your truth, believe in your abundance and you will be supported by the universe as well as your community.
By seeking the positive in everything, the positive will leap out at the seeker, opportunities can be found in the least of likely avenues. Visualizing success and abundance in even the most outrageous of fantasies can create opportunities. Daydreaming and integrating fantasy into a personal vision of manifestation can become some awesome abundance. It all starts with that happy language and believing in ones vision of abundance that all needs are met and all will be provided.

A Smile A Day Keeps The Advil Away?

As a massage and bodywork practitioner, I have discovered people who smile regularly live with less chronic pain. I have been practicing massage and bodywork for 14 years and have come across a multitude of cients who have everyday aches and pains and not so everyday aches and pains. I have become quite the ninja when it comes to getting people to come clean about their daily pain levels.  Everyone is at their own level of consciousness and has their own perception of health, healing, and pain. But those of my clients who smile often live with less chronic pain and suffer less injuries.  As well as, those who express their gratitude regularly and those who do not have passive tendancies. I do not have documentation for my theory, I just have a large clientele of bodies I know well and I have observed a common thread amongst those who radiate clear positive energy. Those clients of mine who smile frequently,  give thanks constantly, and do not allow elephants in the room have less chronic pain and injuries. Even those clients who have jobs which notoriously have repetitive movement injuries but they praise their blessings regularly will generally have less daily pain or get injured less often than those with the same job but complain regularly. Do those who radiate positive energy feel less pain? Do those who complain less often actually feel less pain or just dont know they have pain? Is my observation bologna? Whatever it is, it’s making me think about my daily processes of radiating gratitude and speaking my truth.